Social media is one of the greatest inventions of the internet. So naturally, corporations and companies and criminals (the big 3 c's) have found ways to ruin it. One of the most scary and dangerous in my opinion, is spreading of hate and lies in order to get more clicks, "engagement," and money. Another, and the one currently troubling me, is the fear of authenticity. Being afraid that having an opinion will be used against you later. Either at work, socially, etc. I love being able to retain friendships, sometimes with people I met once, some with people I've never met in person, some from decades in the past, and some that I see regularly/semi-regularly (thanks a lot, COVID).
But it's something we don't talk about, or at least I don't talk about; or see talked about. The thing is, I want to talk about my feelings, my thoughts, my likes, dislikes, etc. I want to talk about what my children are doing, how I feel about being a parent, struggling with mental illness, complain about things from my job to my home to capitalism. But what once seemed to be a way to connect more intimately than ever before with people all over the planet, for me is now a superficial place where I am mostly bombarded with ads with increasingly creepy accuracy.
I've heard before "if you're not buying it, you're the product being sold." And I agree; that's what Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. etc. are doing. It makes me sad, and it makes me angry. This is a vent post if you couldn't tell. I still don't know if anyone is even reading this. But I'm writing it for me.
I've written 496 entries on this blog over the space of 14 years. Quite a few years ago, I spent time trying to scrub my name and the names of others from this blog, for fear of it someday being used to keep me from being hired, to getting me fired, to getting my identity stolen, to getting someone to doxx me and finding out where I live, or whatever else they can do. What the actual fuck?
I truly think the cause of most if not all society's problems is our lack of communication; lack of connection. And the way it's set up, it's only getting worse. I realized I haven't posted anything personal on Facebook for months because I'm afraid. Just funny memes that made me laugh. I'm sad and angry. I know that there's so much worse too. Echo chambers magnifying hate and intolerance, literally leading to murder in multiple cases.
I don't want to blame it all on capitalism, but I want to blame a lot on it. I also hate how it seems so often the response is "yeah, capitalism is bad. But everything else is worse! Yeah, America's justice system is bad, but everything else is worse. Like I read the other day about a woman who was murdered, and her killer "had a good lawyer" so he got off with a fine or minimal jail time. And we just accept it!
I'm going all over the place, but whatevs. If you know who this is, you may know I like filling out questionnaires on Facebook. I like to answer with inaccurate, nonsensical answers. This is because a) I enjoy making others laugh, b) I want to point out how often these answers are common password hints and you're just giving the big 3 c's more ammunition to use against you, and c) I thought I had a third one, maybe I combined b and c into b. It makes me sad tho. I'm afraid to tell you my favorite seasoning and my favorite pet's name, because I know that someone can use that information to rob my identity, my money, my future. And then we shrug and say "yeah, but it could be worse!"
As a exmormon atheist, I'm a big fan of Brene Brown. (Not that either of those are requirements to like Brene Brown, but I've found that many exmos gravitate towards her.) If you're not familiar, her 2 big things or topics of discussion are vulnerability and authenticity. I truly believe (yet have difficulty practicing) that being vulnerable and being authentic are the best ways to live your life, the best methods to find lasting happiness, the best ways to connect and have healthy relationships. But social media seems set up to punish us for doing those things. If we're too vulnerable, we run the risk of being cancelled. If we're too authentic, we run the risk of criminals using your truth against you. And like I said, I don't know the solution.
It's no surprise to anyone that America is divided right now. And it seems to be only getting worse. And god, I'm sick of it. I'm exhausted by it. I'm no democrat, but I am pretty fucking leftist. While I disagree with the label, most of my views are pretty communist. But I'm so sick of all the strawmen, on both sides. Tim Minchin described the arguments of the left and right being incompatible because they both begin with differing belief templates and assumptions. "Like 2 tennis players trying to win a match by executing brilliant shots from either end of separate tennis courts." We need to communicate better, more authentically, more transparent. An example I've used for years that I may have said on this blog is the arguments aren't to have a resolution; they're to win. One side wants to spend money on defense, one wants to spend the money on education. Rather than discussing the pros and cons of that, they say "my opponent would rather spend money on killing children rather than teaching them." Or, "my opponent doesn't care about your children's safety." We're not communicating, or at least not in a healthy, sustainable way.
Another thing I hate about living in this age of post-modernism and superficial electric connection is what the fuck are we supposed to do about it? Many people agree politicians, lawyers, pundits, lobbyists, etc. are corrupt, selfish, dangerous, if not outright evil. But we throw our hands in the air and piss and moan because what the fuck can we do? We've built our cages and discovered no way out. I stopped arguing about things I care about like abortion and gun control because I realized it was completely pointless. Even if a miracle happens and I change their mind or they change my mind, so? We're nobodies doing nothing trapped in a rat maze of metaphors and helplessness.
Life sucks. All modern American adults should be in therapy. Therapy has changed my life. And I feel I've grown so much recently. For so long I thought (one example, but applicable to others) that my loved ones would be so much happier and have more rich and fulfilling lives if they could see through (what I see as) the bullshit of organized religion. But I realized that what I also wanted was for them to accept me as I am. Not wanting to change me to come "back to the fold," but accept me as a person with autonomy and agency. And I (sadly) just barely realized I wasn't doing the same thing. I wanted my close friends and family to love and accept me for who I am and where I am in my spiritual and material journey; but I wasn't giving them the same courtesy. #LightbulbMoment
Not saying I'm cured and will never act that way again, but it made me think about social media and authenticity, and I figured I'd journal about it. But journaling has lost it's appeal; why be private about your private thoughts when authenticity is so marketable? ;) I've been so desperate for those on the right to see things the way I do, that I've been forgetting to see things the way they do.
This is not me "coming out" and resolving to be more open and authentic online. Because I'm still afraid my leftist views may affect my career. I'm afraid my preferences and favorite things will be used against me when someone tries to use a credit card with my name or find out my bank account info or something. I'm mostly lamenting the sorry state of our shit world, and our escape into our virtual world is getting worse. I'm mad as hell, and I guess I'm gonna keep taking it some more.
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