Fun at work

I found these quotes on the newsletters I’m helping people set up at my job. I was hesitant to put them on my blog, as they’re not to do with me. But then I thought the blog police probably had better things to do than check up on my posting habits. So, here’s some quotes, song titles and a joke that made me laugh. Hope it does the same for you:

Eat well, stay fit, die anyways.

The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.

I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are: eating too much, impulse buying and driving too fast…

Are they kidding? That’s my definition of a perfect day!

I’m no country fan, but these songs make me tempted to be:

Crazy Country Western Titles!

How can I miss you if you won’t go away?

I don’t want your body if your heart’s not in it.

I keep forgettin’ I forgot about you.

I meant every word that he said.

I’m not married but my wife is.

I’m the only hell my mama ever raised.

If I can’t be number one in your life, then number two on you!

If the phone don’t ring, baby, you’ll know it’s me.

I gave her a ring and she gave me the finger.

I liked you better before I knew you so well.

And

When the type on the office printer began to grow faint, the office manager called a local repair shop where a friendly man informed her that the printer probably just needed to be cleaned. Since the store charged $50 for such cleanings, he suggested that the manager might try reading the printer’s manual and doing the job herself.

Pleasantly surprised by his candor, the office manager asked, “Does your boss know that you discourage business?”

“Actually it’s my boss’ idea,” the repairman replied. “We usually make more money on repairs if we let people try to fix things themselves first!”

One Week: The beginning

So, last week marked my first week at <redacted>. Long story short, I love it. If it wasn't marred by the memory of all that was <betterjob>. Sigh. I can liken my first week at <shithole> by comparing it to trying to take a drink out of a fire hose. Doing customer service and sales and tech support for something you really don't understand is a bit overwhelming. I'm the only person in my department, so I have no one to account to but M-E. Let me start over. (See why I haven't written in awhile? I can't form a coherent snentence.) 

<shithole> does advertising for 3 fields: Carpet Cleaning, Remodeling, and Real Estate. You'd think, with my past experience as a Carpet Cleaner and CSR for Remodelers, I'd be there. Well, you'd be wrong. So very wrong. They stuck me in Service For Life!(tm) Which is basically a lead generator tool for realtors. I call up realtors to walk them through their online orders with our system, which somehow saves them a ton of money and gets them a ton of leads. Which would be fine, except when the website won't help work or they have any questions. See, I was hired because they REALLY needed someone, and so no one has really been able to train me that thoroughly. At first, I would say, "I'm sorry. I'm new here. Let me go ask someone who knows what they're doing." Which would mean either a) I would find someone there to answer a simple question that made me feel dumb, getting an answer that made me feel dumber, or b) that I would wait while someone who knew what they were doing became available, I would ask them a question, but I had to wait so long that the person I had on hold hung up. 

 Now, before you think I was being sarcastic when I said I love it, hear me out. (You've read it this far, just stay with me) That was just the first 3 days or so. After I got the hang of things (ie: just promise them whatever they want, they'll love you!) and know what I'm talking about, or at least know enough to fake it, it's a lot of fun. Being able to help people, the good kind of stress of doing 7 tasks at once, taking people's money for a product I'm not sure is good for them. It's awesome. Moving on. My courses are great, I really enjoy my Math class (haven't said that since, well, forever) and my Master Student course is fun as well. Tracie is still looking for a job, it's hard to find somewhere good enough for her, she's too over qualified for pretty much any editing job around here, but we'll find somewhere she can bless with her talents and labors soon. That's about it for now, keep reading, maybe someday I'll write something interesting! (ie fiction. I mean creative fiction ;) )

UPDATE!

Wow. That last one felt so good, I'm ready for another! The question is: Are you? (the answer is of course 42).

Well, life has been better. I'll try not to sound too depressing, k?

2 weeks ago, I lost my job. <company name>, that handles all your roofing, siding, windows, remodeling and HVAC free estimate needs, is doing cutbacks, and our entire office in <Utah city> of 30+ people have all been sent down the toilet. I wasn't worried about finding another job, I found several that wanted me after just a few days, but I was (and still am) worried about finding one I liked as much and that had people I liked so much. It was a place where people just get you, no one was fake, there's sunshine 24 hours a day and free skittles. FREE SKITTLES! Not to mention I was Top Performer of the Month twice and Employee of the Month, or that I would consistently win little prizes like a gift card to Applebee's or Macaroni Grill, or free movie tickets. OR not to mention the Nintendo Wii I won. Sigh. I start this upcoming Monday in American Fork at a place called <shithole> (what is it with me and compound name companies?) that sounds fun, rewarding and promising, but then, so did <jobtoogoodtolast>. I'm doing my best to remain optimistic, while I work my last few hours at <company name> so they'll give me my week's severance pay.

Covenant Publishing in American Fork Utah just made their biggest career mistake ever. Tracie, the greatest editor I have ever had the privilege of knowing, was thinking about becoming an assistant editor after graduating from BYU, and those idiots hired someone else. Well, I hope they don't go bankrupt too quickly. I'm sure there are some good people that work there. I'm not too worried for her, she's a genius, and now has a degree to prove it, I'm just worried about her finding a job that's equal to her. We are in Utah, not exactly the publishing capital of the world, nor is Orem the publishing capital of Utah. Sigh. (yes, I'm doing that a lot, and yes. I probably will continue to do that. SIGH).

We've just moved into a new apartment (hooray!) that doesn't have cable (boo!) but it's a lot nicer and cleaner and quieter than our old one (hooray!) but the rent is more expensive (boo!) We are pretty much broke right now, what with our work situations, and having to pay a big deposit for our new place, AND paying rent for 2 places last month, times are rough and money is scarce. Our outings consist of window shopping and using up the last of my free movie tickets, and of course World of Warcraft. It's not that we've never been poor before, it's just that the timing of all of this kind of sucks. Had I known I was going to get laid off, I would have gotten a less nice and less expensive apartment, and not gone back to college.

Yes, college. TOLD you I'd be back! After 2 or 3 years of my sabbatical (not sure what that means, but I think it works in context) I have returned to Utah Valley State College. I am currently taking Student Success, a prerequisite to becoming a UV Mentor or Leader or whatever they're calling them, (so I can have my tuition paid for I mean so I can help people. Yes. That's it, my pretty). And Math 1030, Quantitative Reasoning (ie: precalculus stuff. It's my math GE). Oh, and I've finally chosen a major! Arts & Visual Communications, planning on being a Graphic Designer are we? Yes. We are.

Before anyone asks, no news on the baby front, so stop asking! Sheesh. We'll let you know. Trust me. When little April or Morgan are on their way, I will shout it from the rooftops, or at least text you.

And that's all for today, I think. Now comment! Comment, you silly people! :)

Let's get this party started!

Do do do dooooooooooooo! Dear People! Friends and Enemies, Austin has officially blogged for the first time ever! That's right, Austindm.blogspot.com, for all your blogging needs is now available, just $19.95! I can get it on eBay cheaper than that. Blogspot, where ALL Bloggers eat! 

 Yeah, the real reason I've resisted the whole "Blog" phenomenon is I really don't know what to write about. (Can you tell? Be honest with me) Let's start with all the Holden Caulfield kind of crap. Not because you want to or need to know all my history, but it gives us a starting point, which is always nice to have. 

 I was born in <redacted> CA. Why, you ask? As James Whistler put, "I wanted to be near my mother." I grew up at an average rate as most babies do, did all the normal things like go to elementary school, wrote on the walls, picked my nose, experimented with fire. At the age of about 14 my family (2 excellent parents and 4 wonderful-ish boys) moved to TX. I did things an average boy my age did, I fished a lot, stayed up way too late watching way too much tv and playing video games, I kissed a girl, got cancer. Yes, if you didn't know, I had bone cancer at age 15. I'm fine now, but it did define me somewhat, whether or not that's a good or bad thing, I don't know. I try to take the positive out of it, as it seems to be the best course. If it wasn't for cancer, I wouldn't have discovered painting, a dear love of my life, nor would I have been able to travel to Italy! That was awesome. Anyway, high school was a time of learning, not learning, and cancer. 

After High School, I went for a year to SVCollege, loved almost every second of it, even some of the learning parts. I met friends I hope to have forever, and a few I know I won't, but, as they say, memories are a precious thing you wouldn't trade for a room of gold, but sometimes would give said room of gold to be rid of them for some new ones. Ok, I just made that up. 

As most good mormon boys do at age 19, (not to say I was a good mormon boy, but I was one who really wanted to and who qualified) I served a mission for my church and my God. 2 years in beautiful and freezing Minnesota and Wisconsin, the land of 10,000 lakes and America's Dairyland. I still miss the cheese almost as much as I miss the awesome people there. After the mish, I moved to, as most returned missionaries hungry for a wife I mean education do, to the Beehive state, wonderful Utah, beginning a reluctant love affair that, as most reluctant love affairs often do, began as animosity. I did not like Utah. I moved there because I felt that was where I was supposed to be. Several doomed relationships and worse jobs later, (and about a year) I finally discovered the reason I came, and the love affair of all time. I met Tracie at work. To say it was amazing is to cheapen it. And simply not true. Our story sounds somewhat like a Jane Austen novel, to tell you the truth. Perhaps I'll tell you the story sometime. All I will say is I didn't know God made women as fantastically wonderfully amazingly stupendously other adjectively tiggerific as Tracie (my mother notwithstanding). When I found that there WAS such a practically perfect person as Tracie, I did the only thing that made sense. I married her. 

We've now been married one year and 2 months as of this post, and I love her so much. She's my very best friend and everything I could want, everything I do want, and Oh so much what I need. Basically, she's pretty cool. Tracie. Everyone should have one. But you can't have mine. Sorry. That's about it in a rather large nutshell, grew up, did some stuff, got married to the Princess of my dreams. this blog stuff's easy!