Practically every new year I make all sorts of goals to become the person I think I 'should.' Maybe you do too. I should lose weight, I should read more, I should write more, I should be more active in parenting, I should exercise, I should watch less tv, et cetera, et cetera... I should quote The King and I less... et ceteraaaaaa.
You probably guessed (if you didn't, thanks. But maybe try harder, it's like a gimme) I've never been successful or maintained success in any meaningful way. I'm never the person I know I should be. Most of the time the struggle is maintaining rather than improvement. The f*cking never-ending story of laundry doesn't help matters either.
I read something (can't remember where now, thanks, heavily medicated brain!) that has helped change my outlook, and hopefully change my life. I realize as I'm typing this that I'm again most likely deluding myself about a big change that I won't be able to maintain by eliminating should.
But, here it is: Instead of saying should, say what you want, and why. So "I should lose weight" becomes "I want to exercise, because I like the way I feel when I do." And "I should write more," becomes "I want to write more, because I'm happier when I'm creating than when I'm not." And so on. I'm doing my best to not try to treat this as just another fad, but a way of reframing the way I view goals and life. So far, I think it's helping.
And I haven't once this year said "I should write in my blog," but "I want to write in my blog, because I like remembering thoughts I've had on a social media platform no one really uses any more!" Maybe the snark will be a goal I work on next year. But I like the snark, so maybe it'll stick around longer than the extra 40 pounds I'd like to say goodbye to. Because I like having more energy and less pain. But I also like milkshakes.
