HAPPY BIRTHDAY TRACIE!!!!!

Dear Mrs. B.:

Yippee! Yippee!

You are now Twenty Six.

I love you with every part of me,

You are the second bar to my Twix.



Happy Birthday!

Rambling News

I want to blog, but I don't have much to write, or much I want to write about, so this will probably be a dull journalistic entry. I mean more dull and more journalistic than usual.

We had 2 birthday parties this weekend, Saturday night some of our friends came over for homemade pizza (courtesy of Tracie) and cake (also courtesy of Tracie). We wanted to play games, but having 4 energetic and vocal little boys ranging in age from about 15 months to 1 month, no games really got off the ground, so we did karaoke. Thanks to all who came and participated, and for the birthday presents.

Sunday Tracie's family gave her a surprise. They told her no one was available to celebrate her birthday and her parents would be out of town next weekend to go to our niece's baptism in Arizona. But everyone WAS available and surprised Tracie with dinner, cake and presents. I got some much needed shirts, Tracie got some new clothes and picture as well.

*****

Morgan is getting to be more of a handful every day. He's learning to deadweight and throw his arms up when he doesn't want to be held, and he also doesn't want to be held more and more often. Although I should probably make a disclaimer that it's not that he doesn't want to be held so much as he wants to explore and get into mischief, which is fast becoming his specialty. He's like a mischief savant, that boy. Still no teeth yet and not really walking, but we can tell he's getting VERY close. He's content with crawling for the present time, once he wants to, I think he'll be on 2 legs like the rest of us.

Though, technically, one could say his dad is on 4 legs, as I'm still using crutches. It's been almost 6 weeks since I had my surgery. I'm doing great, but still can only put 50% of my weight on my left leg. (If I put 51% on it, the universe will implode). I feel better and can do a little more with it every day, and it's not like being gentle with my leg is a new thing to me. Tracie has been AMAZING through this whole experience, taking care of Morgan and me and our home while still working full time.

*****

I've been back at work now for 3 weeks, and I'm going to start trying to stay longer til I can get to full time. Today I'm going to try to be here for 5 hours, tomorrow 6 hours and see if I can get to 8 hours from there.

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I've dropped most of my classes for the semester, as teachers either weren't helpful, or I wasn't able to complete the necessary work. I'm naturally bummed about it, but just telling myself that it just means I'll get to understand the subjects even better when I take them again.

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I wanted to write this in its own post, but I'll just say it. As of now, I'm still deciding to do Graphic Design, but I'm adding a Creative Writing minor. It will add more time in school, but less time than a completely different major would. My reasons for choosing this are thus: I remembered that one of the big reasons I chose Graphic Design was I'd like to be an Illustrator, and I heard from several Illustrators and family and friends of Illustrators that they all said they wish they'd taken Graphic Design. And the reason I'd like to be an Illustrator is I'd really like to be a writer, and illustrate my writing.

For my birthday I'm doing something for myself I should've done long ago. I'm submitting some of my stories to different publications, hoping to get (wait for it) published. I bought "Writer's Market" and plan to submit each one to different publishers. I'm a talented writer and married to a very talented editor, and I won't get recognized or (more importantly) get my stories published if I don't try.

For those of you who read or remember GlassOfRandom, Tracie's and my fiction blog, the "Crazy Cat Lady" and the "Journey of a Dream" are 2 of the stories I'll be submitting. Wish me luck.

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I haven't posted about American Idol this year because it's so boring. With the exception of Crystal Bowersox, the rest of the contestants are so blah and uninspiring, any other season they wouldn't have made it past the top 24, and we're down to the top 6. I may get hated and burned at the stake for this, but I don't think even Crystal would do very well against most of the contestants in the past, (last season, for example, with the Adam Lambert Kris Allen Alison Iraheta talent powerhouse) but she's so head and shoulders above the rest that she better win.

I think I'm going to leave the show with Simon once the X-Factor takes over. American Idol gave us some talent that otherwise wouldn't be there, but they also gave us Taylor Hicks, so it may be time for it to exit with it's head held high. Metaphorically ride off into the sunset and not come back. And bring Ryan Seacrest with it.

*****

That about all I can think of, I covered all the important stuff, right? School, work, birthdays, my life career choices, American Idol. That's me in a ruddy great big nutshell.

Happy Birthday George Takei!

And me.

Is it a Sign or a Roadblock?

Having a large supply of free time during my incarceration/recovery, I've had time to ponder. (Pondering doesn't take too long, but I've been pondering a lot anyhow). One of the main musings brewing in my brain has been whether I want to continue my chosen course, or take another road, perhaps the one less traveled, or one more frequently followed.

This semester is basically a bust. Since my surgery, I've been in too bad of shape to sit up completely for long, let alone focus on much of anything. Some of my teachers have been helpful and understanding, some less so. I'm currently trying to get this semester withdrawn (withdrawed? no, withdrawn) so I don't have a bunch of F's and have to go on academic probation or suspension or whatever. This has led me to question if Graphic Design is really something I want to do. Is this a sign from God that I should point my future career choice in a different direction? Or is it just a roadblock I must overcome to solidify my determination in pursuing my chosen vocation of Graphic Design?

I have for the most part (ok, maybe not most part, but above 50%) enjoyed my classes and enjoyed learning more about the Adobe Creative Suite and design principles. However, I've also noticed my assignments compared to the other students (or not compared) resemble the attempts of a slow and prepubescent adolescent, (no offense to slow and prepubescent adolescents) while theirs (my classmates' assignments) look professional and the work of a college graduate, or at least a college student. I understand that many of them have been doing this longer than 1 or 2 semesters like I have, but some have not. I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong, but I don't feel like I belong. Again, I ask myself "is this a sign to give up and try something I love doing more, or is it a roadblock I just have to get past through study and hard work?"

Being a quitter by nature, the question then arises, "Well, if I quit Graphic Design, what would I rather do instead?" Since one of the chief reasons why I chose Graphic Design in the first place was it seemed like something I'd be good at, have fun with, and make money on. So far, none of those things have been the case. So, what would I rather do instead?

Study programming, as it's becoming more and more my job at my job to understand what customer's computers or our scans of said computers are telling them?

Should I study writing, as I find it cathartic, exciting, one of the few pure joys in my life, and risk obscurity and abject poverty?

While risking obscurity and poverty anyway, should I pursue my old dream of becoming an artist, while deep down knowing I'm not good enough, not smart enough, and not living in New York enough to "make it" as an artist?

Or should I pursue the dream of being an Art History professor, go to school the same length of time as a doctor, and make as much money as a bagger at Wal-Mart? (no offense to Wal-Mart baggers. Well, maybe a little bit.)

Should I just "grow up" and say "I made it this far pursuing Graphic Design, maybe I won't be wealthy or too skilled at it, but I can very probably find a job where I can do design work and have a fairly satisfactory life's work?"

Is that what it comes to? "Fairly satisfactory?" Is it too much to ask for a job that I can 1) be happy at 2) not be embarrassed about and 3) make enough money to support a family and (heaven help me) live "comfortably?"

I know there are people out there who love their jobs, I so desperately want to be one. I like my job at the moment, but I realized, while I've enjoyed my classes, I'm not looking forward to a life of Graphic Design afterwards. I'm dreading it.
I realize it could be that I'm dreading it because I still have a LOT to learn, and as I get closer to graduation, perhaps I will look forward to getting a job and knowing what I'm doing and (is it too much to ask?) be good, no, great at it.

I'm not looking for your suggestions (though you're welcome to make them) nor for you to decide my future (you're not welcome to :)) I merely write this for my own benefit, and for you to know where I am in life, as that's one of the chief purposes of this blog, "Know what Austin's up to without the burden of actually speaking to him."

I don't know if my answer is try another road, or keep trudging ahead, but I know I'm at a crossroads, and now seems like a good time to evaluate my journey thus far and decide where that journey will lead me.

I'll let you know when I find out.

I'm Ba-ack

While this news may be better summed up via twitter or my Facebook status, those are both blocked at work, (not that I have a twitter account anyway) but I am writing this from my computer at work!

It only took me 2 1/2 weeks, or 19 days (yeah, almost 3 weeks) to get back but I'm back! It feels good, disorienting, but good. Many of my work friends have greeted and visited with me, my chief complaint is I forgot my pillow to sit on, so I'm a little uncomfortable, but not in pain, at least not from sitting.

I've only taken like 4 phone calls, but I've been responding to emails, I've received a lot fewer than I expected, and I am only working part time (4 hours) currently, until I get better, but I am back and I am proud of it!