Proust Questionnaire

I like filling out questionnaires on social media/fb in a tongue-in-cheek way. I know that they're often used for data mining, so I try to avoid accuracy for the sake of privacy and security. And I like to try to amuse others and myself... while being a tad mischievous. For some reason, I love doing this. 

But in doing so, in aiming to be as flippant as possible, I've felt inauthentic. For this questionnaire, I will be more honest than I usually am. 

If that’s not what you came for, sorry. I feel that sometimes it’s ok or even necessary to be open and vulnerable, even on the internet. At least that's what I’m telling myself. 

So, I'll stop filling out questionnaires when I get sick of them. 

Question: When will I get sick of them? Answer: Never.

PROUST QUESTIONNAIRE

What is your idea of perfect happiness?

Having enough love, food, and time to be satisfied, and to ensure everyone else on earth has the same. Also an impossibly massive library and the time required to enjoy it.

What is your greatest fear?

The death of my children. The loss of free will.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

Memory, vindictiveness, halitosis, and that chronic pain keeps me from the life I think I could have.

What is the trait you most deplore in others?

Dishonesty, bigotry, and intentional ignorance

Which living person do you most admire?

Bernie Sanders

What is your greatest extravagance?

Socks because I need so many. Food because it’s life and tasty. Miniatures because they're awesome.

What is your current state of mind?

Relieved and eager. A skosh sleepy. Getting hungrier.

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

Faith. 

What is your favorite virtue?
Humility or integrity

On what occasion do you lie?

To protect. 

What do you most dislike about your appearance?

It's harder to think what I like about it. I’ve never felt attractive. But especially baldness.

Which living person do you most despise?

45 

What qualities do you most like in a man?

Patience, grace, femininity, compassion

What qualities do you most like in a woman?

Strength, confidence, masculinity, wisdom

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

Sebastian, thing, spicy, maybe

What or who is the greatest love of your life?

Tracie. That one was easy.

When and where were you happiest?

When I can make others happy through service or laughter. And when I was in Virginia, in Italy, and with family.

Which talent would you most like to have?

guitar improvisation and maximized sexual allure

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

Confidence. I would love to have some.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?

Fatherhood. Which is sad in a way, since to begin with, all I did was provide 50% of their genes in the most fun way possible. Hopefully my contribution since then has been more substantial, and less seminal. 

If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?

a person, with extreme self-worth and the ability to back it up. Or a panther, for the same reason.

Where would you most like to live?

close as possible to all my friends, and/or Umbria. Let's build a commune.

What is your most treasured possession?

I try not to treasure possessions. But I’m fond of my home, despite its need for constant maintenance and revisions. For me it represents success, security, and adulthood.

What is your favorite bird?
Magpie

What is your favorite flower?
Sunflower

What is your favorite color?
I don’t know that! I often say red, tho it was purple in my childhood. I don’t really have a favorite. Maybe Indigo.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

pointless pain and suffering, and powerlessness to help those suffering

What is your favorite occupation?

For me or other people? I guess it’s the same either way: artist/poet

What is your most marked characteristic?

a dire need for laughter in self and others. I'm often afraid if I don't make them laugh, they'll abandon me.

What do you most value in your friends?

compassion and understanding, good conversation

Who is your favorite painter?
Van Gogh, Velasquez, Matisse, Buonarotti, Duchamp, Hogarth, Manet, Morisot, Renoir, Gentileschi. The first 3 if I have to narrow it down. 

Who are your favorite writers?

Oscar Wilde, E.E. Cummings, Neil Gaiman, P.G. Wodehouse, JK Rowling

Who are your favorite poets?

E.E. Cummings, Robert Burns, Anne Sexton, Allen Ginsberg, Edna St. Vincent Millay, Sharon Olds, Ben Jonson

Who is your hero of fiction?

Jeeves, Jarlaxle, Bob the Skull, Hermione Granger, Lady Bracknell, Uncle Iroh

Which literary figure do you most identify with?

Marsyas, Amulek, The Marquis de Carabas, Zuko, and Chandler Bing

Which historical figure do you most identify with?

Ben Franklin, Andy Warhol, Cassandra, St. Thomas, Robin Williams

Who are your heroes in real life?

Tim Minchin, Penn Jillette, Greta Thunberg, Malala Yousafzai, AOC, Alan Cumming, James Randi

Which five people would you have a dinner party with, living or dead?
I’d prefer living. But I’d pick Oscar Wilde, Noel Coward, Christopher Hitchens, Carrie Fisher, and Tracie B. The last one may seem like pandering, but I truly feel that I couldn't enjoy the best things in life without my partner to share them with. 

Who are your favorite musicians?

Freddie Mercury, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Buddy Guy, Les Claypool, Victor Borge, all 4 Beatles, 

What are your favorite names?

Tracie, Morgan, Lyra, Sera, Thalia, Aidan, Ariel, Athena, Hecate, Dionysus, Sebastian

What is it that you most dislike?

Intolerance and hate, and the ignorance they usually stem from

What is your greatest regret?

Missing the chance to say goodbye

How would you like to die?

Saving a life/lives

What is your motto?

Better to be sexy and racy than sexist and racist