Day 11 4-23-25

 Figured I could try to daily page here again for today. Some is private, some is public, all is unread. Been doing this almost 2 weeks (not counting the weekend) which is nice. Yesterday I went to a taco eating contest for a friend who I've designed the logo and labels for their company. IDK if they want the publicity or if they want my site connected with them in anyway, so I'll refrain from naming names. 

I love tacos, it's one of my food groups. The contest was $20 to enter, winner take all. I managed to get to second place, even if I think I was cheated somewhat. I was told it would go until 8:07, but because the restaurant took long, they let my competition eat longer than the allotted hour. Which, on one hand, fair is fair. and they gave me the opportunity to also try to eat more while they were eating. But on the other hand, I should have won. But after 24 1/2 tacos, I decided that I'd rather spend $20 to not have to eat any more. Especially since he probably outweighed me by a significant margin, and I'd foolishly eaten cheesecake earlier that day. From cheesecake factory, so I was already at my suggested 2000 calories plus. 

Still full, still nauseous, still burps taste like tacos almost 24 hours later. But I didn't think it was worth it to push myself past 24 1/2, so no regrets. Just some bitterness, indigestions, and i don't wanna know what % of me is taco right now. 

Also had a work conference today that my team conveniently left without telling me, so that was fun. On the plus side I worked from home the rest of the day, so take that I guess. 

Terrified and pissed off at the govt coming from autistic people. I hope I don't regret this, but as the father of neurodivergent children, it makes me see red when people who don't know me or them act like they know what they are and aren't capable of. I'm ashamed to be american, ashamed of who represents me. 

I've said before one of the problems with democracy is getting the people we deserve. And we aren't led by people good at leading, we're led by people good at winning elections. I read a Tolkien quote the other day in praise of anarchy, saying something like (too lazy to look it up) "not one man in a million can lead justly. Least of all the people who seek to lead." or something. that's the price of the illusion of freedom, I guess. 

someone wrote an op ed piece recently that was "they want us to have a culture war so we don't band together for a class war" and I was like "I've been saying that for months!" but im' sure neither of us are alone in thinking that. and me saying a sentence aint the same as writing an op ed.

So I'm watching Dr. K. and trying to obtain peace and happiness, listening to Dr. Schwartz to understand my parts, and read Dr. Whatever so i don't feel pain. So far, so crazy. 

It's only Wednesday and I'm worried about spiraling Friday. It's become a tradition nobody wants. Like religion. JK. Sorry to be so edgy on a (I'm assuming) lovely Wed. 

Now to call someone to wish them happy birthday because I love them and it's their birthday. Then to swim and gym. Idk when I can make food. Oy vey. I've been in one place for nearly 7 hours i think. so healthy. much weight loss and attractiveness. i'll settle for health and happiness, and fear my children's safety. cuz murica.