100th Post! A Tracie Post! A Princess Post!

This is my 100th post milestone!!! Ah, 100. My Blogithon Centurion Milestonianeth. Back in September when I just started, I had no idea what would happen. I was so young and innocent back then.

But enough about me. (Thank goodness, you say. And then I shoot you. It's ok. They're blanks. It's ok, that's fake blood. It's ok, you're just taking a nap.)

Sheesh. Anyhoo, what is Austin going to write about on this, his 100th post, you (who are still alive) ask? That's a good question. I'm going to talk about what matters most to me in the wild and crazy world: my Tracie.

Awwwww. Sweet. and predictable, you say. I brandish my gun and remind you I still have five "blanks" with your pretend names on it. You silence.

It's going to be hard to be sweet after all the murder and death threats, isn't it? I suppose I'm a bit like Chandler, when I start feeling sentimental I get funny/violent. But Tracie loves me anyway. (Good transition)

Though it may be superficial, any list of Tracie has to begin with her beauty. This is not because Tracie has no other virtues, far from it. (How dare you suggest that! *BANG!*) Ahem. But Tracie really is the most beautiful person I have ever met, seen, or imagined. I could go into her beautiful features one by one (and I will, but not so you can read it) but I will simply say that Tracie is the most attractive beautiful lovely pretty cute good-looking hot gorgeous person ever, both the inside and out. Everyone who meets her or even sees a picture of her tells me, "Wow, you have a beautiful wife!" and frequently they go on to tell me they're not just being polite, but she really IS beautiful. And I smile and nod, though get a little annoyed when they stand there, jaw half open, eyes glazed over, while trying to understand how I got someone like her. They don't know the half of it.

Tracie is the smartest person I know. She constantly amazes me and impresses me with her knowledge. If I need to know anything, first thing I do is ask Tracie. In the rare times she doesn't know, I ask the internet. But this post is about Tracie. (Yes, I love technology, but not as much as you, you see.) I needed to marry someone I could have an intelligent conversation with. which brings me to the next Tracie point.

Tracie is an excellent conversationalist. I can and always could talk to Tracie about anything and everything, one because she's so smart, two, because she's so open and welcoming. From when we first met, I could be myself with Tracie, and I am pleased to say I still can be, and I know she loves me just like that.

Tracie is a perfect friend. I know this, because we were JUST friends for several months, (then we were just friends who kissed. then we were dating. then engaged. then married. now married.) Tracie walks the delicate balance of pure friendship in that she loves someone for just the way they are, while at the same time works to help you become better than what you are. She is my best friend, and I am blessed everyday (except when she just wakes up-watch out!) with her kindness and friendship. Everyone who meets her tells me also how kind and friendly she is. And I smile. I done good. ;)

Tracie is so funny. This is of course crucial to me, and man oh man, did I hit the jackpot in this department. Being the "funny guy" (a label I love) I need someone who can make jokes along with me, and laugh at my jokes (and get them) as much as possible. Tracie understands this and therefore will laugh at pretty much any of my attempts at humor. She has such a beautiful laugh, and such a beautiful pity laugh I feel so much funnier (than I probably deserve) and I love her and thank her for it. But also, she constantly surprises me with how clever and funny she is, and how it makes me think we're gonna have titanic behemoths of comedy for children, which suits me just fine. (And fits into my evil plan! BWA-HA-HA-HA!)

Tracie is talented. Wow. Oh wow. She is so talented. She is musical (LOVE the guitar and love love love love loooooooooooooove the voice!) She is artistic (the Queen of Color, I call her) and very creative in her writing, as you all probably know. Tracie can do anything, which is important to me, cuz I'm lazy, so I know if I don't do it, Tracie can. ;) Tracie is also the greatest editor I have ever met (and smartest sexiest cutest etc.est) which is helpful and convenient for me, because I can write "ennietheengh" and she can make "anything" beautiful and make me seem like a much much better writer.

Tracie is sexy. That's all I say in that area. Sorry, but it needed to be said.

Tracie is an excellent example. She always reminds me that we have to do the right thing (don't kick the puppy, Austin) and encourages me and strengthens my resolve.

Tracie has a true testimony. Having a testimony of the Everlasting Gospel myself, I of course needed a wife with one, and Tracie knows the truth and importance of the message we bear. I am so grateful I have a wife who will raise with me children strong in faith, testimony, and spirit.

Tracie is a princess. Hence the picture. I couldn't find one with all of them and Tracie in it, but Tracie personifies the good qualities of all the princesses, Disney and other. Yes, I know all girls are princesses, but Tracie is different, sorry. She's the best.

Tracie is a master chef. Yes, I know I could put this in Tracie is talented, but because she is so talented (and because I love food so much) I'll put it separately. She is a culinary alchemist, throwing together ingredient to make delicious ambrosia. Mmm mmm good. I love her cooking I love her music, I love her beauty, I love her mind, I love her laugh, I love her editing, I love her singing, I love her dancing, I love her smile. I love her skill, I love her faith, (and yes, I want to kith her faith) I love her kisses, I love her hugs and whatnot, I love her generosity, I love her kindness, I love her forgiveness, I love so many things about her as you can see.

This is of course no comprehensive list, it's a Tracie Sampler, and my small way of saying via Blog "I love you Tracie! I love you more every day! Thank you for being my best friend and giving me the honor of being your husband forever!"