Better Already

Some of you may know, we recently started a new fitness program. Some of you may be on the same program.

Basically, instead of "lose weight fast" this is more geared towards living more healthily, healthier, healthy living.

You get points every day for doing something. For example, 20 points for exercise, 10 points for avoiding fast food and junk food, 5 points for eating fruits and veggies everyday, etc.

It started on Monday and it's amazing how much better I already feel. I've always said it's better to be healthy than skinny. As I've gained weight, I've said it more frequently. But now that I'm working towards living healthy instead of "well, I only bought one double cheeseburger instead of three, so that's like healthy right there! I'm not gaining weight, so it's okay to have the supersized shake." etc.

Now that I'm refraining from fast food and garbage food, drinking more water than none in a day (64 ounces and counting), getting exercise and all that fun stuff, I am amazed at the energy I already have! And I'm 50 pounds lighter than yesterday! Ok, that last one isn't true, but I feel great and encourage you if you're not happy with your health to give it a try!

Cornbellys

Ryan & Heather & family have come to town, and what's the first thing we do? Why, go to Cornbellys, of course! McNeil Printing, the best printing company in Utah, if not, the world, does their printing for them, so we got a sweet deal (free for us, trade from Tracie's dad) and enjoyed the fun festivities. Although my favorite part was seeing my nephews and niece from Arizona.

We went through the corn maze, my first one ever. This year, it's shaped like the most famous Utah native ever. David Archuleta! We had fun getting lost in his neck, ears and adorable cheeks, but, since he was kind of muddy and the directions were less than perfect, after 3 or 4 wrong turns we had enough fun and turned back, never to return. And only 2 kids got lost! (and quickly found again.) Of course, the way they saw it, they didn't get lost, they found the right path.

We also went on a hayride, another first for me, I was happy to learn I didn't get hay fever, though it was called a "Haunted Hay Ride" which is a bit generous, since, besides some cheesy spiders and statues at the beginning of the ride, there was nothing haunted about it. Though it kept me craning my neck the whole time watching for something spooky to come out and scare me. No such luck.

We opted not to go in the haunted maze, "Cornucopia" (though most of the little kids did) as the kid at the entrance wielding a fake chainsaw and garbed in a hockey mask scared me enough. (he did have kind eyes, though.)

The only intentionally scary adventure we dared to travel was through the "Belly of the Beast", also known as a haunted inflated dog monster, with bad lighting and people in masks jumping out at you. They startled me at times, but it was too dark. I understand how the ambience can add to the horror, but it was so dark, we couldn't see the inflated organs of the beast, and I missed several of the spooks trying to scare us as it was just too dark. One time I actually told the masked horror "we can't see you, but I'm sure you're terrifying." They appreciate little things like that.

The real fright of the night was the price of food. I'm sure it will get old when I become a parent and have to buy $10 cotton candy, but a $3 hot dog, $5 cheeseburger that could have come from White Castle, and a shotglass of hot chocolate for $2.50 was my biggest horror, and I would have screamed in terror, but I hadn't had any lunch, so I gobbled it all up. (the cocoa was Tracie's.) There was one vendor that had some tasty looking food, but they accepted cash only, and who pays cash only? (I'm sure some of you are saying, "who goes to Cornbellys without cash?" to which I respond: "Oh shut up.") I bought overpriced underdelicious carny food, but one of my favorite sights was a tree of well over a hundred beautifully carved pumpkins, familiar faces like Mufasa, Simon Cowell, Malificent, Aladdin, Tim McGraw, Gordon B. Hinckley, Count Dracula, Count Chocula, the Count on Sesame Street, and countless others.

Overall, I'm glad we went. I know I complain and whine, but I don't like being scared, so Cornbellys was right up my alley. Minus the carny chow. But I'm glad we went because it was a memory we now share with a lot of Tracie's family, (not everyone, as only weddings seem to get them ALL together now) but we had a pile o free fun with family, local and distant. It was awesome to see Heather, Ryan, Seth, Cade, Leah, Matthew, and of course Kris, Alan, Taylor, Tyler, Cheryl, Tyson, Preston, Mason, Trent, Jessica, and the newest family member, Lilyan.

Cornbellys: a great start to a week of excitement with Ryan & Heather's family here! (BTW, They came down for our nephew Tyson's baptism, and our niece, Lilyan's blessing. More on these I'm sure as they develop.)

Guilty Pleasures

I love fast food. If it wasn't for fast food, I would be thin. And then I would starve to death.

I know it's bad for me, but I don't care. It's cheap and fast and tasty. However, some of the food I like more than others.

I wouldn't go to Carl's Jr. if they didn't have the Breakfast Burger.

I'd ignore Taco Bell if not for the Double Decker Taco.

McDonald would be a foreign word for me if they discontinued the parfait.

Sonic. No Ocean Water, no business.

Arby's would be empty of Austin if it were devoid of Curly Fries. Precious, precious curly fries.

And I'm glad Jack in the Box isn't in Utah county. It's the only thing keeping me from becoming completely obese.

At least ever since In N Out decided maybe it's a good idea to expand our deliciousness places other than California.

What are some of your favorite guilty pleasures?

Chef's Table

This weekend Tyler and Cheryl treated us to dinner at the Chef's Table, for watching over their boys two weeks ago. (Which we loved doing, and will do again, especially if we're paid this way. :)) Those of you unfamiliar with Chef's Table, it's the only 4-Star Restaurant in Utah County, and the best food (besides home cooking) you're likely to find in Utah. If you haven't gone, go. It is completely worth it.

BEST. MEAL. EVER.

When you walk in no less than 3 people with better manners and vocabulary than you treat you like royalty, they lead you to your table and place your napkin on your lap. You're then given a light sorbet to cleanse your palate, it might be viewed as overkill, but the food is so good, you want to taste as much of it as you can.

Tyler and Cheryl were very grateful and ordered 3 appetizers, (Tracie's parents were there as well, as they watched the boys also (and longer than we did)). We had 2 orders of their coconut shrimp, the biggest and meatiest shrimp I've ever eaten, as well as most delicious (and I've eaten a LOT of shrimp.) We also had the crab cakes, and, though I haven't had that many crab cakes to compare it to, I am fairly certain that these were some of the best I would ever have. They were flaky and flavorful, everything there is rich, but never too rich. Just right.

Tracie and I each had a salad, and not just lettuce smothered in cheap ranch. I said 4 star restaurant. The salads came with tomatoes, cucumbers (BIG cucumbers) and were divine in and of themselves. Tracie had the Chicken stuffed with prosciutto (is that how you spell it? proshooto. prashewtoe? Italian bacon that's not smoked.) with Au Gratin potatoes and summer vegetables. She wouldn't let me eat much of it, for obvious reasons, but what I can say is it was like some beautiful symphony of flavor, the chicken was moist, the prosciutto tender, all the flavors came together in a way that was better than the sum of the parts. Mmm mmm good.

I elected to have the Bacon Wrapped Beef Tenderloin with Sauce Madeira. I have congratulated myself ever since. Actually, I stopped reading after "Bacon" and just ordered that. I expected to get little medallions of flavor wrapped in bacon, but I got quite a large filet draped in bacon. It was superb. I ordered it medium, which some family members may criticize me for, but that's how I like it, and it was pink and red and oh so tender, right now I am salivating so much thinking about it that Pavlov has called me several times for some kind of study he's doing. My largest and only regret is that it was so good I ate it all up and couldn't have it again the next day. (Something Tracie shrewdly did with her Chicken).

Now, dessert. Tracie had a Chocolate Napoleon, which I am convinced she's going to leave me for once she gets a second. To me, it looked like a slice of a multi-layered German Chocolate cake. To Tracie, it looked like the new love of her life. I had the Chocolate Rasperry Cake, with a large layer of rich mousse. The dessert tasted like the inside of a humongous dark chocolate raspberry truffle. But better. It was so exquisite I think it may have ruined other desserts for me. I'll have to eat more (and soon) to make sure.

If that wasn't the best meal ever, dessert cemented it. But besides the excellent food, I'd also like to make special mention of going to eat with Tracie's parents and older brother and his wife. We really enjoyed going out with them, and it was wonderful to go to such a nice setting and be treated as "adults" among the "adults." Not that they treat us like kids, but from someone who's spent more time at the "kids table" it was nice to be at the Chef's table as an ''adult." Everyone should do it at least once.

The only real question now is when will we go back.

Day 11 4-23-25

 Figured I could try to daily page here again for today. Some is private, some is public, all is unread. Been doing this almost 2 weeks (not counting the weekend) which is nice. Yesterday I went to a taco eating contest for a friend who I've designed the logo and labels for their company. IDK if they want the publicity or if they want my site connected with them in anyway, so I'll refrain from naming names. 

I love tacos, it's one of my food groups. The contest was $20 to enter, winner take all. I managed to get to second place, even if I think I was cheated somewhat. I was told it would go until 8:07, but because the restaurant took long, they let my competition eat longer than the allotted hour. Which, on one hand, fair is fair. and they gave me the opportunity to also try to eat more while they were eating. But on the other hand, I should have won. But after 24 1/2 tacos, I decided that I'd rather spend $20 to not have to eat any more. Especially since he probably outweighed me by a significant margin, and I'd foolishly eaten cheesecake earlier that day. From cheesecake factory, so I was already at my suggested 2000 calories plus. 

Still full, still nauseous, still burps taste like tacos almost 24 hours later. But I didn't think it was worth it to push myself past 24 1/2, so no regrets. Just some bitterness, indigestions, and i don't wanna know what % of me is taco right now. 

Also had a work conference today that my team conveniently left without telling me, so that was fun. On the plus side I worked from home the rest of the day, so take that I guess. 

Terrified and pissed off at the govt coming from autistic people. I hope I don't regret this, but as the father of neurodivergent children, it makes me see red when people who don't know me or them act like they know what they are and aren't capable of. I'm ashamed to be american, ashamed of who represents me. 

I've said before one of the problems with democracy is getting the people we deserve. And we aren't led by people good at leading, we're led by people good at winning elections. I read a Tolkien quote the other day in praise of anarchy, saying something like (too lazy to look it up) "not one man in a million can lead justly. Least of all the people who seek to lead." or something. that's the price of the illusion of freedom, I guess. 

someone wrote an op ed piece recently that was "they want us to have a culture war so we don't band together for a class war" and I was like "I've been saying that for months!" but im' sure neither of us are alone in thinking that. and me saying a sentence aint the same as writing an op ed.

So I'm watching Dr. K. and trying to obtain peace and happiness, listening to Dr. Schwartz to understand my parts, and read Dr. Whatever so i don't feel pain. So far, so crazy. 

It's only Wednesday and I'm worried about spiraling Friday. It's become a tradition nobody wants. Like religion. JK. Sorry to be so edgy on a (I'm assuming) lovely Wed. 

Now to call someone to wish them happy birthday because I love them and it's their birthday. Then to swim and gym. Idk when I can make food. Oy vey. I've been in one place for nearly 7 hours i think. so healthy. much weight loss and attractiveness. i'll settle for health and happiness, and fear my children's safety. cuz murica. 

Resolution Revolución

Inspired by various blogging friends of mine, I'd like to post some New Year's Resolutions. Why is it a Revolucion, you ask? Besides the incorrect spelling, tis because I am going to make SPECIFIC resolutions. So "lose some weight" becomes "exercise thrice weekly and junk food only once a week." for example. If you don't get it you're gonna get it because...
here...
we...
...go!

1.) Exercise three times a week, only treat myself to fast food one day a week. This will mean play less video games and make my lunch before work.
2.) Finish a second draft of "Prince Pert's Perilous Quest for the Perfect Princess." And write a new story for NaNoWriMo. Also participate in Script Frenzy and remind those who would like the reminder to do likewise. It's only 88 days away, people!
3.) Read a bedtime story to Morgan most nights. I don't say every night because if I forget or circumstances don't allow it, I won't lose my goal and give up. I started this on Christmas and have done so nearly every night since then.
4.) Get A's in all my classes. This is specific, how can I make it more specific? Do my homework, turn it in on time, be awesome, buy Adobe CS5 and don't skip class.
5.) I haven't been happy with how little I've been able to read this past year. I love reading but have found little time to do so. I think I can commit to reading one book a month. I have a lot of books I've been given both as Christmas presents and a few backed up from birthdays, so I plan to read these books, and possibly write a review of each, though it will probably just be a heads up, since some of you may know my reviews end up being either "I love it, read it!" Or, "I hate it, don't bother even using it as toilet paper, you may get cut." So the goal is to read a book a month, not review a book a month, of the books I own and have neglected since coveting them before I did own them.

No goals on blogging, I think I currently blog a sufficient amount. Not too much that you get sick of reading what color sweater my bichon frise is wearing this hour, not too little that you worry you'll start seeing my face on milk cartons, provided they start putting children's faces on milk cartons again, or that you start drinking out of milk cartons.

There are other hopes and wishes I could call resolutions like reading more scriptures and being a more active parents, husband, houseworker, employee, student, etc. etc. But these are enough for little ol' me for now.

What are some of YOUR new year's resolutions this year?

Rootinest Tootinest

Sweet Fancy Moses, it's Thursday! Where did this week go? I was going to write about our weekend, and I still will, but holy moly, it's almost the weekend again.

So, Saturday was nice. We went to Spanish Fork all day. At my Uncle Paul's house we saw my Aunt Kerri and Uncle Robert and cousins Emily and Nicholas as well as brother Ammon and his wife Lynette and their kids Carly and Wesley and also got to meet our newest niece Lexie! It was great to see and visit with everyone (Uncle Jim's family was there too) as well as show off Morgan and visit and laugh with family.

Then we went to our sister-in-law Cheryl's mom's house, as Cheryl and Tyler are sodding their backyard (is that the correct term? It sounds vulgar) where we enjoyed barbecue and family and fireworks. Some enjoyed the Slip N Slide, I, still not 100% better from getting a new hip, was somewhat of a party pooper and spent half the time in the swinging bench and the other half chasing after Morgan. He seemed to enjoy the Slip N Slide (eventually) and according to Tracie was enraptured by the fireworks. I missed them, as I was quite sleepy and took a nap on the couch. As I get older, I get more boring. I haven't been interested in fireworks in years though. After awhile they all look the same. Maybe I just need to recapture that childlike sense of wonder I had once. Or maybe I just need to go to bed earlier. Tracie's brother Troy came also to surprise his family, who've been visiting all month. It was great to see him, it's been too long since we last did.

Sunday we went to our cousins Brett and Charlotte's clubhouse for a Valantine family get together. Sadly not much of the Utah Valantines were represented, just my Uncle Mark and Brett and Charlotte, Nana and Grandpa and Ammon's family (who were the reason for the get together) but it was nice to spend more time with Ammon's family as well as eat some of the best brownies I have ever had. The rest of the food was good too but Sweet Fancy Moses those brownies rocked. I am not one to talk about food, but think of the best brownie you've ever eaten. Now add marshmallow creme. Now add peanut butter. And now I'm drooling again.

Then Tuesday we were treated to dinner by Aunt Kerri and Uncle Robert to Mimi's. I forget how much fun they are and even as I've gotten older, just how cool Aunt Kerri is. I will never have an older sister, but Kerri would have been better anyway. :) (yes I have sisters-in-law, and I am grateful for and love them, but that's really not the same).

Yesterday I went to visit Ammon who's watching Wesley who was feeling sick. It was good to visit one on one (mostly) with my brother, and I realize now that my roughhousing with Wes probably wasn't the most conscientious I've been, remembering only now that he was sick. Oh well. What didn't kill him made him stronger, right?

Now that it's almost the weekend again, it's almost time for my Mother to get here! We've got so much to do! We've got to go shopping and clean the house and make Morgan all cute and figure out where she's going to sleep and learn the recipe for those brownies!

Hope your 24th weekend was fun and family filled as ours. (and the week after)

Weekend Whirlwind

Whew! What a weekend! Last weekend was so bland, I guess the gods of the week (that would be the norse gods) decided to make this weekend crazy awesome busy. (that would be the hindu gods)

Friday after work Tracie and I went to my new favorite restaurant, Las Tarascas, they advertise that their mexican food is 110% Authentic, and they've won best Mexican food in the state 2 years in a row. Unfortunately, Tracie doesn't like it as much, so we won't go as often as my expanding growling gut would prefer. We then went to Justin & HayLee's, where HayLee celebrated her 22nd birthday. We just gave her a gift card to the mall (cuz we're so creative and organized) visited, ate their cake, and I spent a good chunk of the visit throwing Tyler & Cheryl's boys on the Love Sac (basically a huge and glorified (and expensive) bean bag chair. No one got hurt (except my back the next few days) and Mason threw up a little. But, it's not fun unless someone pukes a little, right? Where have I heard that? I think it's a Roman proverb, or something. "Nottius Funicus Til Someonicus pukesitius alloverium the Vomitorium."

Saturday was busy and good. First I had class, Art History. There was a test on Romanticism, Realism, Impressionism and Post-Impressionism. This is my area of expertise, so, if I didn't get 100, that woman could very well have brain damage. Or I could just be too cocky for my own good. Or both. One funny thing about it is that the projection board wasn't working, so we wrote about pictures of the works of art in question shown to us on the teacher's laptop. After I aced the test, Tracie and I headed over to Aaron & Heidi's to help them move. Since a baby is on the way, they need to make some room, so we took some boxes and a weight set (fun) over to Aaron's parents home. It was nice to meet Aaron's parents, I see now why Aaron is such a great guy (AW! how sweet) and also he & I had a great conversation on church history & I learned a lot, I haven't had a good talk just me & Aaron I think in... ever! So that was great. Hope with school getting out we'll hang out more. That took a good chunk out of our day, so Tracie let me go shopping for groceries at Wally World (Why do we call it Wally world, anyway?) She let me go shopping while she stayed home and cleaned. (Awesome for me! I'll do ANYTHING to get out of cleaning.) And while I thought it would go faster if I went to the grocery store alone, it wasn't. I had to go back several times in aisles I had been through because I forgot something or other. Oh well. Then we went to Hollywood (video, not the town, silly!) and rented 2 movies, which we haven't done in FOREVER, thanks to McNeil video, but we wanted something a bit different, and there was nothing in the theaters we particularly were scrambling to see.

Sunday (happy Easter!) we spent in Riverton. My mommy is up here for the week for Nana & Grandpa's Anniversary, so we wanted to see her. She also sang for the Easter program, which was absolutely beautiful. You think having a virtuoso singer for a mother I'd be used to it, but it blew me away how talented she is. After church we went to Nana & Grandpa's, where we engaged in the requisite card game (no visit to my grandparents is complete unless you play cards) we played Michigan Rummy, one of my favorite Rummy games (even though I lost miserably) and Tracie won! I'm sure she was happy about it, as she often complains that I win at EVERYTHING. (which is mostly true) we visited with mom and nana & grandpa for a few hours, then one of mom's friends came by to see her, so they visited while I got to talk with nana mano e nano (man to nan) and we talked about some of the beautiful places she's been. Nana & Grandpa have been to Mexico, Germany, France, Italy, Spain, Netherlands, Egypt, Israel, Russia, Britain, and I'm sure many other places. And nana is the best artist I personally know (besides a teacher of mine, and father of friends, Marcus Vincent), and so I got to hear her talk about what some of her favorite places she's been to, and where she thought was the most beautiful. After that, we went to Tracie's parents, where no one was around so we assumed they went to the park (the same one I proposed to Tracie at!) and we were right. I was in awe how well my Utah nephews can ride their scooters, and that they didn't hate me for repeatedly throwing them against the furniture 2 nights ago. All Tracie's other Utah siblings arrived by the time we got back to her parent's, and we had a fun visit, delicious trifle (trifel?) and cinnamon rolls (synonym roles?) and guessed what Trent & Jessica will be having. (I guessed a baby). After family visiting and eating, we went home, ruminated on our fun busy weekend, and looked forward to the crazy fun hindu week we have in store for us!

Proust Questionnaire

I like filling out questionnaires on social media/fb in a tongue-in-cheek way. I know that they're often used for data mining, so I try to avoid accuracy for the sake of privacy and security. And I like to try to amuse others and myself... while being a tad mischievous. For some reason, I love doing this. 

But in doing so, in aiming to be as flippant as possible, I've felt inauthentic. For this questionnaire, I will be more honest than I usually am. 

If that’s not what you came for, sorry. I feel that sometimes it’s ok or even necessary to be open and vulnerable, even on the internet. At least that's what I’m telling myself. 

So, I'll stop filling out questionnaires when I get sick of them. 

Question: When will I get sick of them? Answer: Never.

PROUST QUESTIONNAIRE

What is your idea of perfect happiness?

Having enough love, food, and time to be satisfied, and to ensure everyone else on earth has the same. Also an impossibly massive library and the time required to enjoy it.

What is your greatest fear?

The death of my children. The loss of free will.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

Memory, vindictiveness, halitosis, and that chronic pain keeps me from the life I think I could have.

What is the trait you most deplore in others?

Dishonesty, bigotry, and intentional ignorance

Which living person do you most admire?

Bernie Sanders

What is your greatest extravagance?

Socks because I need so many. Food because it’s life and tasty. Miniatures because they're awesome.

What is your current state of mind?

Relieved and eager. A skosh sleepy. Getting hungrier.

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

Faith. 

What is your favorite virtue?
Humility or integrity

On what occasion do you lie?

To protect. 

What do you most dislike about your appearance?

It's harder to think what I like about it. I’ve never felt attractive. But especially baldness.

Which living person do you most despise?

45 

What qualities do you most like in a man?

Patience, grace, femininity, compassion

What qualities do you most like in a woman?

Strength, confidence, masculinity, wisdom

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

Sebastian, thing, spicy, maybe

What or who is the greatest love of your life?

Tracie. That one was easy.

When and where were you happiest?

When I can make others happy through service or laughter. And when I was in Virginia, in Italy, and with family.

Which talent would you most like to have?

guitar improvisation and maximized sexual allure

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

Confidence. I would love to have some.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?

Fatherhood. Which is sad in a way, since to begin with, all I did was provide 50% of their genes in the most fun way possible. Hopefully my contribution since then has been more substantial, and less seminal. 

If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?

a person, with extreme self-worth and the ability to back it up. Or a panther, for the same reason.

Where would you most like to live?

close as possible to all my friends, and/or Umbria. Let's build a commune.

What is your most treasured possession?

I try not to treasure possessions. But I’m fond of my home, despite its need for constant maintenance and revisions. For me it represents success, security, and adulthood.

What is your favorite bird?
Magpie

What is your favorite flower?
Sunflower

What is your favorite color?
I don’t know that! I often say red, tho it was purple in my childhood. I don’t really have a favorite. Maybe Indigo.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

pointless pain and suffering, and powerlessness to help those suffering

What is your favorite occupation?

For me or other people? I guess it’s the same either way: artist/poet

What is your most marked characteristic?

a dire need for laughter in self and others. I'm often afraid if I don't make them laugh, they'll abandon me.

What do you most value in your friends?

compassion and understanding, good conversation

Who is your favorite painter?
Van Gogh, Velasquez, Matisse, Buonarotti, Duchamp, Hogarth, Manet, Morisot, Renoir, Gentileschi. The first 3 if I have to narrow it down. 

Who are your favorite writers?

Oscar Wilde, E.E. Cummings, Neil Gaiman, P.G. Wodehouse, JK Rowling

Who are your favorite poets?

E.E. Cummings, Robert Burns, Anne Sexton, Allen Ginsberg, Edna St. Vincent Millay, Sharon Olds, Ben Jonson

Who is your hero of fiction?

Jeeves, Jarlaxle, Bob the Skull, Hermione Granger, Lady Bracknell, Uncle Iroh

Which literary figure do you most identify with?

Marsyas, Amulek, The Marquis de Carabas, Zuko, and Chandler Bing

Which historical figure do you most identify with?

Ben Franklin, Andy Warhol, Cassandra, St. Thomas, Robin Williams

Who are your heroes in real life?

Tim Minchin, Penn Jillette, Greta Thunberg, Malala Yousafzai, AOC, Alan Cumming, James Randi

Which five people would you have a dinner party with, living or dead?
I’d prefer living. But I’d pick Oscar Wilde, Noel Coward, Christopher Hitchens, Carrie Fisher, and Tracie B. The last one may seem like pandering, but I truly feel that I couldn't enjoy the best things in life without my partner to share them with. 

Who are your favorite musicians?

Freddie Mercury, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Buddy Guy, Les Claypool, Victor Borge, all 4 Beatles, 

What are your favorite names?

Tracie, Morgan, Lyra, Sera, Thalia, Aidan, Ariel, Athena, Hecate, Dionysus, Sebastian

What is it that you most dislike?

Intolerance and hate, and the ignorance they usually stem from

What is your greatest regret?

Missing the chance to say goodbye

How would you like to die?

Saving a life/lives

What is your motto?

Better to be sexy and racy than sexist and racist

MY Life Checklist

I had SUCH fun doing that last checklist (and from the suggestion of Charlotte) I will make a checklist of MY life. Some will be copied from the last checklist, so deal with it.

I'll give you a minute.

Some of these things I have already done, but still qualify as life goals or milestones.

1. Go to the temple
2. Go on a mission
3. Be sealed to the greatest woman I've ever met
4. Become a father
5. Go to college
6. Graduate college
7. Be a loving, involved and great father (it's a work in progress)
8. Write several novels
9. See at least one novel I wrote published
10. See a play or screenplay I wrote performed on stage or on a big screen - Thanks, Troy and Jen for helping make that one a reality (Pirates of Madera, for any followers of GlassofRandom.blogspot.com)
11. Go back to Italy (I'd say for the art, but really for the food)
12. Go to France (Paris and Arles are my top choices)
13. Go to the Van Gogh Museum in Amsterdam (there are other things to see and do in Amsterdam, some of them even legal, but Van Gogh is why I'd go)
14. Win some kind of major award (while an Oscar or Nobel prize would be nice, I'd settle for less, like a leg lamp, for example)
15. Paint a masterpiece
16. Have an exotic pet - Like a Koala bear or Elephant. Or fish.
17. Live in England - There's so much there I want to see, (Castles, museums, Abbey Road, Art, History, Music, Ancestors, etc.) that a visit wouldn't suffice. Plus then I could come back with a fake British accent and sound all pretentious. Like Madonna.
18. See all my kids married in the temple (it doesn't have to be simultaneous, and I'd really prefer it not be to each other)
19. Retire wealthy, and young-ish (50's or 60's)
20. Serve a mission with my sweetheart in our Golden (or Olden) Years
21. Give all my kids memorable, unique names they will love and grow to hate me for as they get older. (Off to a good start)
22. Have my own successful Graphic Design business
23. Write, publish and illustrate several children's books
24. Become an Eagle Scout
25. Learn/Play an instrument - Trumpet and French Horn for real, guitar and piano for pretend
26. Learn a martial art - Aikido and Fencing are on top, Tae Kwon Do and Action Painting are at the bottom.
27. Become a better dancer - I may have one leg, but I can still learn.
28. Build an Awesome sandcastle - Done, but I wanna do better.
29. Shake hands with a prophet - When I was a kid, I met Pres. Hunter, but he wasn't Pres. of the Church yet.
30. Meet Neil Gaiman - the only author I revere who is still alive.
31. Have a huge, messy messy food fight.
32. Ride in a submarine (the ones at Disneyland don't count)
33. Surf
34. Compose a song that can make people cry (from the beauty of it, of course)
35. Prepare a sumptuous feast (debatable if I've done it already, but I mean like French cuisine, 5 course meal kind of feast)
36. Remind Tracie nonverbally every day how much I love her and what she means to me (work in progress)
37. Learn a few good magic tricks - I know a few, but most are either not good or I'm not too good at them.
38. Walk a mile in someone else's shoes - mostly for bragging rights
39. Get in better shape
40. Be happy with my body
41. Teach throughout my life - In callings, in family and at work. I love to teach and would have become a teacher if it didn't mean having as much school as a doctor and having as much money as a hobo. Mostly the school thing tho.
42. Tour a candy factory
43. Program a computer
44. Help as much as a man can deliver a baby - preferably one of my own
45. Write and design a video game- More like Monkey Island, less like Pac Man or Dragon Age (though that too would be awesome)
46. Change someone's life
47. Build a house - tree/club/bird is also acceptable
48. Pet a tiger
49. Have a friend who stays a close friend for over 20 years
50. Write a comic book
51. Own a home theater
52. Buy a brand new car
53. Make and lose a fortune
54. Have a room in my home for painting/ a studio. And use it.
55. Make a difference
56. Make a more specific goal
57. Drive across the country
58. See Paul McCartney perform (I would say the Beatles, but that's not very likely)
59. See Barenaked Ladies live - twice, though, more like BNL once and BN the second time
60. Swim a mile - I doubt it highly, though still more likely than running a marathon.
61. Meet the President - Of the hair club for men. I mean of the United States.
62. Have as few regrets as possible - (right now, only 2 1/2 regrets out of 27 years. 3 1/2 if you count watching "Catch and Release")
63. Watch Citizen Kane without falling asleep
64. Own a treasure chest -not necessarily an authentic, real, old one, but that would be awesome.
65. Own a sword that I don't regret buying - I have several friends who own swords, the only reason I haven't bought one (or the main reason) is that I can't justify buying one without the thought of regret afterwards. I want to, though.
66. Spit off the Hudson Dam - or any other very high surface that doesn't have the possibility of killing someone. Yes, I know it's just a myth about the Empire State building, but I don't want to risk it, would you? I'd hate to be kept out of heaven because I inadvertently killed someone via a flying loogie.
67. Do something illegal but not necessarily immoral - I am open to suggestions.
68. Perform for a full house
69. Be in Comedy Sportz again
70. Dunk a basketball
71. Sculpt a life size marble statue
72. Make a crying person laugh
73. Stay at a high-priced 5 star hotel and splurge
74. Visit Greece
75. Tour the Winchester House
76. Go back to Minnesota and Wisconsin and check up on the people I met and taught on my mission
77. Drive a Ferrari
78. Host a ball or gala
79. Teach my children important life lessons
80. Learn what important life lessons I should teach my children
81. Visit and do a session in 50 temples (If I'm counting right, I've been to 11, done a session at 6)
82. Open a Restaurant
83. Save a life
84. Be the "BEST" at making something, the best hot chocolate, the best grilled cheese sandwiches, the best cookies, something I'm known for making
85. Visit the Holy Land and see where Jesus taught and walked
86. Own a theater - Ok, we're getting in the realm of dreams now, not checklist, back to reality
87. Snowboard down a mountain
88. Never forget the absolute importance of imagination
89. Prove or disprove a theory
90. Meditate with a Guru/Yogi, though it kind of defeats the purpose
91. Attend an Opera
92. Take a picture for National Geographic
93. Write a joke for Reader's Digest
94. Create a delicious recipe
95. Make time for family priority #1 (so far, so good, I think. Some days better than others)
96. Go to the Smithsonian
97. Kiss the Blarney stone in Ireland
98. Read the Bible cover to cover, and the stuff in between too.
99. Always have faith
100. Never stop dreaming

Checking up on my Goals

2011 is more than halfway over, a good a time as any to reevaluate and realign my goals, don't you think? You don't? Oh well.

Goal 1.) Exercise three times a week, only treat myself to fast food one day a week.
How I'm doing) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. HA. Not off to a good start, though I dance to Just Dance 1 and 2 at least once a week, but that's about it, and fast food, I don't want to say. I'm thinking of doing the HGC diet, I'll let you know if I go through with it. You'll likely be able to tell if I'm suddenly typing thinner, or hypothesize about how many of you I would murder for a Klondike bar.

Goal 2.) Finish a second draft of "Prince Pert's Perilous Quest for the Perfect Princess." And write a new story for NaNoWriMo. Also participate in Script Frenzy.
How I'm doing) Nada on Prince Pert, I think I'll switch that goal and just transcribe it to computer first, it's still in handwritten form only. I chose to write my novella "The Friends of Henry Paris" instead of Script Frenzy. Since Henry Paris I haven't written any fiction except for the more believable stories on this blog, I'm getting the itch to write again, it's just a matter of time management now.

Goal 3.) Read a bedtime story to Morgan most nights.
How I'm doing) Reading the bedtime story? Not very well. However, when I put him to sleep lately I've been telling him stories, his favorites seem to be Moby and the Beanstalk and Goldilocks and the three bears (mamma bear, papa bear and moby bear). I embellish and change some facts in the stories to keep myself interested and he doesn't seem to mind. I may not be instilling him with a love of reading yet, but I hopefully am instilling him with a love of storytelling as well as knowing his father loves him.

Goal 4.) Get A's in all my classes, buy Adobe CS5 and don't skip class.
How I'm doing) Despite some teacher giving me a C+ even though I turned in the best assignments in the class (not just according to me, but most of my classmates) I've done fairly well, even getting 100 in my photography final assignment (that few of you have commented on...) I also bought Adobe CS5 and love it.

Goal 5.) Read a book a month.
How I'm doing) It was somewhat wavy at first, but since I rediscovered books on CD and Provo library has improved their selection, it's getting easier and easier. I'm on my seventh book now, the fourth book on CD and on a bit of a marathon of books read by the author.

Those are my goals, so far so decent, about 2.5 out of 5 but the year ain't over yet, nor is my use of impropper grammar and speling!

Texas Travelogue

Post formerly known as:
My Poor Butt, Helloooo- Monte Cristo: I Love You,
Rothko Ennui, and I Miss Them Already

Well, we're back! After a very nice very long weekend in very warm (especially compared to Utah) Houston I am back in Utah, and I just have to say: MY BUTT HURTS!

Yesterday, to beat traffic, my mom took us to the airport at 3, though our flight was scheduled to leave at 7:20. (It usually takes about an hour to get there) so, in the car, I sat in my seat. We got to the airport, dropped off our luggage, the security guards got friendly with me, (as always) and we sat at our gate. For 3 hours. Then we sat in the plane. for 4 hours. Then we had a layover in Vegas for one hour. Guess what I did. Sat. Flew again, rode home and sat and sat. My poor tushie is now sitting in the uncomfortable chairs at work, cursing at me and threatening to strike. I bet you wanted to hear about that.

Other than the trip back and the pain in the butt I'm experiencing, I had a wonderful trip.

Rather than give a detailed step-by-step account of our stay; I'll mention, first, a general step-by-step account of our stay, (heh), then focus on several topics that stood out for whatever reason.

On Valentine's we traveled, arrived in Houston and rode back teasing Andrew like a big brother ought to (it's not only my right, it's my duty) and visiting with Dad. We got to my parents, went out to eat Chinese food at a Chinese food restaurant (aptly) and went home. We watched some TV and stayed up late visiting with my mom. Friday was deemed "lazy day" Although I knew and anticipated most of the stay would be "lazy days." We watched too much TV, played games such as Shanghai Rummy, Wii Sports and Whoonu, and watched movies like "Stardust" and "The Ultimate Gift" which, as it turns out, was $2 billion dollars.

First digression. You may have noticed that I now show "Stardust" or at least try to show it, to anyone who hasn't seen it. Watch it. It's wonderful. You'll love it. That is all for now.

Saturday I wanted to do something outside of home, so Tracie, Andrew and I went to the Menil Collection in Houston to see artwork ranging from 4000 year old Egyptian to Contemporary crap. (not that all contemporary art is crap. just some of the stuff we saw was. One genius actually put blank canvases on the wall. Hello! That's what people do to make fun of contemporary art! sheesh.) I'll talk more in detail about the museums. (The Menil Collection also comprises the Rothko Chapel, and the Cy Twombly Gallery). We also went to Bennigans, which I was ecstatic to learn they have one in Houston, and I of course ordered a Monte Cristo sandwich. More on this later. (Sadly, not more of this 'til next time). Sunday brought Stake Conference which I attended, a new Stake President of Katy Stake was called, and I saw and visited with several people I knew, and didn't see half as many as I wanted too. Tracie and I also took a walk around the neighborhood and we went to the gazebo on the lake where I had first proposed to her. We also visited and played more games with the family, as dad had to go to Ohio (I think) and then Dubai (I know) that evening. So, Monday we again played games, relaxed, slept in and went to the airport at 3.

Then, the adventures of sitting on my bum, and now I'm typing this at work, while sitting on my bum. Tracie started and finished a book on our travel day, and I finally finished a book I've been trying to read for like a month now. She'll probably talk about hers (Running With Scissors), so I'll talk about mine. Color of Magic, the first Discworld novel by Terry Pratchett. Though critics and fans seem to love them, I'm guessing they're all British, as I had an itching suspicion that I'd understand the book much better (and find it much funnier) if I was British. But I'm not. It was hard to understand, difficult to follow, and, in the best parts, amusing. Glad it's over. Haven't spent so long reading a 200 page book since I don't know when.

Monte Cristo, I love you!

Ok, I know it's wrong to be in love with a sandwich. But, if you tell me it is, then I'll know you've just never tried the Monte Cristo. Wow. Wow. Wow. Gourmet ham, cheese and chicken sandwich. Ok. that's good. It better be some good ham and cheese and chicken, Austin. Oh, it is. But I'm not done. What else is there? It's deep fried. Oh. I love you. You dip it in this scrumptious raspberry jam or ketchup or eat it the way it is and I promise you, you'll be asking it to the prom too.

The Menils: Rich geniuses and crazy people.

the de Menils of Houston, like most rich folk in Texas, were oil millionaires. Fortunately, they were also art collectors. They had very eclectic tastes, and I love and hate (mostly love) their collections. (Tracie mostly hates). There are 3 buildings on Sul Ross St. in Houston that make up the Menil Collection, I'll give a review of each, as we went to all 3.

The Rothko Chapel

The de Menils commissioned Mark Rothko to paint 14 paintings for a non-denominational church about 40 years ago. Those familiar with Rothko's work will know he often used blocks of color on huge canvasses, and that he intends to stir base emotions or even religious experiences within the viewer. I don't know what I was expecting, but the only thing it stirred in me was boredom. It could be that the chapel was polluted with folding chairs and speakers, or that I expected something grander. But I felt a bit cheated, and it was free. (Though I did regrettably donate $2 to the chapel). Other Rothko paintings I've seen have literally "pulled" me in, feeling like I entered this vast world of color, as well as filling me with a sense of tranquility, wonder, and awe. But, we strolled out of the chapel as fast as we went in, and headed to the Cy Twombly gallery.

Cy Twombly- Heir of Abstract Expressionism

Cy Twombly is from Lexington, VA. My old art teacher, (Studio Art and Art History) Barbara Crawford is from Lexington, VA. They are good friends, and, about 8 years ago, she told me to go see the Twombly gallery in Houston when I went home for Christmas. I went. And I hated it. So presumptious, so ludicrous, what a waste of space. But then I entered a room of all these lush green paintings of abstract scenes of water. (Which, for the life of me, I can't find online) Everything changed. It was like looking at some alien language and watching the words metamorphize into English. They were some of the most beautiful paintings I've ever seen, and I fell in love with his work. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to spread my love on to Tracie or Andrew, so we headed for the main building of the Menil Collection, with enough diversity to appease anyone. (By the way, I am not a fan of Abstract Expressionism, I think it's probably the biggest cause for the degeneration and commercialization in art today. That, and Picasso. I also feel that Rothko is lumped with the Abstract Expressionists because he's one philosophically, but not physically or aesthetically. Thank you. That is all. For now)

In addition to being one of the most beautiful art museums I've ever been to (The J. Paul Getty Museum in California and the Uffizi in Florence are the champions) The Menil Collection is an unknown jewel in Houston, on a residential street, like it's hiding, not wanting the general populace to know what a treasure sits unassumingly on Sul Ross Street. The museum includes a lot of Surrealistic works, as well as expressionists, and I learned to have a new appreciation for Max Ernst that I didn't have before, and I love Rene Magritte even more. The museum also has ancient works, medieval tapestries, Grecian urns, (one Grecian urn, two Grecian urns...), ancient sculptures, Inuit and Maori totem poles, weapons, masks and tools, but my favorite display was possessions owned by Surrealists. Talk about weird and wonderful. Things like an anchor adorned with skulls, a Mickey Mouse/Aztec idol, a suit of armor adorned with spikes, a phallic pestle, varieties of instruments from the "enlightenment", all kinds of things that gives you insight into where some of their ideas germinated.

Also, there was an exhibition on How Artists Draw, with drawings from Seurat, Picasso, Cezanne, Duchamp, Rauchenberg, Jasper Johns, Cy Twombly, and countless others. But, the most amazing drawing was one by Van Gogh of Arles. With he being my favorite artist (and, in my opinion, the greatest artist who ever lived) it really showed his skill, his style, and his love for the world he existed in, one I hope to travel to one day.

And finally, I miss them so much it hurts!

I couldn't find a photo of my family online, and I'm doing this at work, so I'll post this one.

I miss my parents and brothers so much. It was such a treat and joy to spend several days visiting, joking, laughing, playing and living with Dad, Mom, Alex and Andrew. I was worried that being there for such a short time after over a yearlong hiatus would only amplify the pain my heart feels at being away from them, it didn't. Any time spent with family is enlightening and enriching, and I wouldn't trade a second for anything! I feel like I filled my canteen with sweet memories with my immediate family (minus the Chilean ones, of course) that will keep me happy and sated until next time we're all together. I can't wait to see them again.

The one with all the Thanksgivings

Yes, I stole my blog title from an episode of Friends. This year, I've had 2 Thanksgiving dinners, and I plan to have a third ON Thanksgiving. Aren't I lucky? (Yes, the word is "lucky", not fat) we had a dinner last sunday with our friends Aaron, Heidi, Aaron and Adrienne, which was delicious (especially Tracie's pumpkin pie. mmmmmmmmmm boy). How good is Tracie's pumpkin pie, you ask? Well, it's her mother's recipe, and as wonderful as Tracie is, I would have married her just to get the recipe of that pie! (I am of course kidding. Her mom would have to throw in her Chocolate chip cookie recipe too).

The other was a Valantine Thanksgiving, as much of our extended family (Tracie and I included) have other plans for turkey day. So, we celebrated thanksgiving there on saturday. (which is just fine with me. It's a well known fact that Grandpa Valantine makes the BEST turkey on the planet. That's right. Planet.) We also celebrated Nana's birthday, which is another family tradition, as it's so close to thanksgiving. It was nice seeing most of my Valantine cousins, their spouses/sweethearts, nana and grandpa v. (still each other's sweethearts), and my uncles and their sweethearts/spouses (same thing, in this case :))

Like I said, we have a third Thanksgiving coming up on (aptly) thanksgiving. Bye bye, diet.

We've been invited to Arizona to spend Thanksgiving with Tracie's sister Heather and her family. Enough McNeils are going down that we didn't want to be left out, because, as most people know, when enough McNeils get together, the only thing better than the fun is the food. And, if you don't know that I LOOOOOOOOOOVE fun and food, stop reading this right now. You don't know me or ever will.

Those of you remaining, I appreciate your condolences to my waist and your congratulations to my stomach.

NaNoWriMo UpDaTe!

Well, I have 11 days left, and 37,000 words to write. That would mean I have to write over 3,000 words a day. Do I think I'm going to make it? No. Am I disappointed? A little. Am I going to keep writing after the deadline? You betcha!

My novel, though still in it's relative infancy (I have just over 13,000 words) is still exciting and surprising me enough to want to know what happens to my characters, though I just killed two that I think I'm going to go back and rewrite because I like them too much.

Once again, I'm sorry, you can't read it until I'm done, and I don't know when that will be. My editor/wife has read enough to let me know that it needs LOTS of work before it's ready for the general public. General public meaning friends and family who read my blog and are asking to see it.

I'm writing this now, as we'll be driving to AZ on Wed.


Until next time, when I'll be made up of so much turkey the blog may just be me gobbling.

Life Checklist

I got this from HayLee’s blog. The list part. The comments all me, baby.

I like it because it doesn’t “tag” or “guilt” you at the end. You know what I’m talking about.

A LIFE LIST

Instructions: Take the following list and bold the items you have completed or experienced.

1. Started your own blog - Yes. Whoo. Off to a great start already.
2. Slept under the stars - Wouldn't be an Eagle Scout if I hadn't.
3. Played in a band - sadly, no. Unless singing along with a group in concert for their live album counts. If so, consider that bolded, thanks, Thriving Ivory!
4. Visited Hawaii - Someday.
5. Watched a meteor shower - I have, in the Grand Canyon, no less.
6. Given more than you can afford to charity - lame joke about having a friend named Charity, still no.
7. Been to Disneyland - But of course.
8. Climbed a mountain - See #2. And in Yosemite. (Or #5)
9. Held a praying mantis - Not that I recall. He was hunting at the time. Wah wah waaaaaaah.
10. Sang a solo - Sadly yes, to those who heard it. I think my first public solo was Winthrop in the Music Man.
11. Bungee jumped - No, and never gonna happen. I'll be skinned alive first, thanks.
12. Visited Paris - Not yet. Sacre bleu!
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea - Nay. Though I have slept on a boat. does that count? No? O ye of little faith.
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch - Definition of scratch? Does reading books on the subject count? Oh, what the heck, I'm bolding this baby.
15. Adopted a child - Nope. Morgan is 100% ours.
16. Had food poisoning - Yes, on my mission. Note to reader: expired Kraft Cheese Singles look and taste just like not expired Kraft Cheese Singles.
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty - No sir. One lady I have yet to-- no.
18. Grown your own vegetables - Yes, actually. In Elementary school, I grew carrots (and a few other plants, but carrots were the only ones that took root. Being roots themselves, I shouldn't have been surprised.) And alas, despite implications from grandparents, I've never grown potatoes in my ears.
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France - No, but I've seen pictures of her. And why does it say in France? Is the author of this list among the bitter majority that believe she belongs in Italy? (a majority in which I and my buddy Vincenzo Peruggia are a part of?)
20. Slept on an overnight train - No, but I've fallen asleep on the Amtrak. The train, not the tracks.
21. Had a pillow fight - Oh, my goodness, yes. Very yes. (but you'll get no more details from me, the stewardesses, or any of the charity groups involved.)
22. Hitch hiked - Heck no. I don't wanna get eaten by the Hook man.
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill (shhh) I would never do that. (Never means frequently)
24. Built a snow fort - Growing up in California and Texas, I've never even made a proper snow man (though I have made a snow angel. He looked fat and had a small head.)
25. Held a lamb - Don't think so. Unless you mean certain parts of lamb after it's been cooked to tender deliciousness.
26. Gone skinny dipping - I'll never tell.
27. Run a Marathon - Not in this lifetime, kids.
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice - Venice, no. The Venetian, yes.
29. Seen a total eclipse - Yes, and you can bet I LOOKED RIGHT AT IT! What can I say, I'm a rebel.
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset - Both. In high school and at the beginning of college, I fancied myself a poet, so that was kind of a requirement.
31. Hit a home run - Not unless you count T-Ball or Nintendo. If so, then no.
32. Been on a cruise - I hope to. And in the Caribbean. Not in Alaska or some other fake cruise. ;)
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person - Yup, when I was 4. I was freaked out before and loved it after.
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors - How ancestor are we talking? England or Iceland? No. Spanish Fork, Utah? Yes.
35. Seen an Amish community - Yup. Turns out they weren't Mormons.
36. Taught yourself a new language - Tried learning Italian and currently trying to learn some scripting languages. Not panning out any better than the Italian effort. Plus, I feel even LESS likely to pick up an Italian woman knowing HTML.
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied - Anyone who says that is either lying, or much less greedy than I. Not that I'm too greedy, I just want enough money that I can swim around in it like Scrooge McDuck on "Duck Tales."
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person - The leaning tower? That's on the list? Not my list, baby.
39. Gone rock climbing - See #2 again.
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David - Thanks, Make-A-Wish. True, it's a giant naked man carved from a BIG metamorphic rock, but it remains one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen.
41. Sung karaoke - Am I Mormon/A Member of my Family/Into Theater/Deluded in my own level of talent?
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt - Nope. Ironically, I have seen the Ol' Cheater geyser not erupt.
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant - Sorry, my money, my food, my friends. Unless you count one blind date. I don't.
44. Visited Africa - I want to keep the relationship professional.
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight - Yup, even though everyone knows that's when Jaws comes out of the water, but I kept my swimming suit on, so I lived.
46. Been transported in an ambulance - sadly, yes. When I had my seizure before my first leg surgery. One second I'm playing Nintendo, the next thing I remember I'm in the ambulance. Worst game of Mario EVER.
47. Had your portrait painted - Kind of. Nana's painted pictures of all (if not most) of her grandkids, of which I am one. Plus I paid some lady $13 at Knott's Berry Farm to paint a pastel of me. Big Spender.
48. Gone deep sea fishing - Heck yes. Several times. Caught some lovely Barracuda that hung out in our freezer until they went in the trash. Circle of Life.
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person - No, but my parents did when we went to Italy. They said it was overrated. J/K.
50. Been on television - You know it. Once when in utero on Family Feud, other times in Alzheimer's commercials, Boston Market, a few others, and one Smashing Pumpkins video.
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling - Uh uh. No thanks. If I want to be shark bait, I'll dress as Nemo for Halloween. Sharkbait, bruhaha.
52. Kissed in the rain - Not as romantic as the movies portray.
53. Played in the mud - Greg, Brett and I made a mud pit out of the clay next to my parents house and mud wrestled. It was awesome. And despite what they tell you, (they being Greg, Brett, my parents, and the referee) I won.
54. Gone to a drive-in theater - Saw "The Kid" and "What Lies Beneath." Still mad at the ending.
55. Been in a movie - I was in a grad film for a Loyola Marymount graduate, Icebox Dancing.
56. Visited the Great Wall of China - No thanks. I won't even visit the Mediocre Wall of Piscataway.
57. Started a business - EducationalFamilyGames.com. Only cost me $29.95, and didn't make a penny from it. It was required to learn the software at my first Tech Support job.
58. Taken a martial arts class - Always wanted to, never have, except for a free Karate course/sales pitch when I was a kid, only slightly better than the one in Napoleon Dynamite.
59. Visited Russia - see #44
60. Served at a soup kitchen - On my mission, but we served lunches, not just soup.
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies - I tried, but no one would buy them.
62. Gone whale watching - Nope.
63. Got flowers for no reason - Does "Just because" count as a reason? (Just because... I want sex)
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma - No one wants my ex-cancer blood. I've received plenty, though.
65. Gone sky diving - Wheeeee! No.
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp - Nazis. I hate those guys.
67. Bounced a check - Never! Overdrafted my account? Frequently. (bet you thought I'd make some pun about a bouncy check. Please. I have standards.)
68. Flown in a helicopter - I was about to, then they wouldn't let me. No, wait. That wasn't me.
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy - Still got Scruffy, but he's living in a box somewhere.
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial - Yessiree. Twice. Neither time did Abe recognize me.
71. Eaten Caviar - Just because it's expensive, doesn't mean it's good.
72. Pieced a quilt - Nope, haven't even quilted a piece.
73. Stood in Times Square - No, but I've stood in Kanizsa's triangle.
74. Toured the Everglades - Nope, not even the Sometimesglades.
75. Been fired from a job - I think it's my specialty. I should add that to my resume under special skills.
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London - I wanted to, but the Limeys kept going into their dressing rooms.
77. Broken a bone - I think this qualifies.
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle - All the bikers I know don't trust me. They all think I'll wait until they're at a high speed and then push them off. I have no idea why.
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person - Yes. I've also seen it in Arizona.
80. Published a book - No, though this is a goal for my life, even BEFORE this checklist.
81. Visited the Vatican - Nah. I've been to the Mormon Vatican (Temple Square, not BYU, silly)
82. Bought a brand new car - No, but I've bought two NBC cars (new to me).
83. Walked in Jerusalem - Not yet, though that'd be cool, if I ever had the chance of going without the strong likelihood of dying. Maybe if there's a 9th (or 10th) crusade.
84. Had your picture in the newspaper - I have, when I was 8 and wrote a letter to a soldier in Iraq, during Desert shield.
85. Read the entire Bible - I blush to say no. *Blush*. though I HAVE read the Book of Mormon about 10 times, New Testament once, Old Testament, never. Hence why half of it is bolded.
86. Visited the White House - Clinton wouldn't let me in when I came to call.
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating - Nope.
88. Had chickenpox - Yep. I had so many my chicken pox had chicken pox.
89. Saved someone’s life - "DON'T EAT THE POISON APPLE!" There, I just saved yours.
90. Sat on a jury - For a full ten minutes, until they shoved me off. In my defense, I thought it was a class on stage diving.
91. Met someone famous - Sure, like Paul Walker (wow!) and the girl from Step By Step (the cute one, not the smart one, the dumb one, or Suzanne Somers.) AND the director of Beauty & The Beast.
92. Joined a book club - YES! I got 6 awesome friends out of it too!
93. Lost a loved one - I have. Live long enough and we all will.
94. Had a baby - Tracie did most of the work.
95. Seen the Alamo in person - Nope. Once I found out there was no basement, I was like "Why bother?"
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake - No, but I did swim in a puddle of rotten eggs, so that's like halfway there, right?
97. Been involved in a lawsuit - Aside from the incident where I jumped on a jury, no, I'm clear. (knocks on wood.)
98. Owned a cell phone -Yes, I've even Pwned a cell phone.
99. Been stung by a bee - Yes. Though I think I won the war.
100. Copied a post from someone's blog to your own - If I do, I always attribute the source as well as edit it enough to make it my own.

Thanks, HayLee! (see #100)