(This picture was taken AFTER we started dating. But it fits the title. :))
The story continued as it had been. Tracie and I were falling for each other, but stupid pride and feelings for lost loves stood in our way. We kept not dating and hanging out as friends from work (Tracie’s special friend, according to my father-in-law). Then, one night (I wish I kept a journal so I remember exactly when) Tracie’s mom needed her to go to Orem High School and pick up her car. Since I, her special friend was there, we drove together and got the car. I don’t remember how or why, but we both were sitting in her mom’s car, even though mine was there also, and we were talking about stuff we’d talk about. We also talked about kissing, how we wanted to, but were worried that we couldn’t commit. I knew her flimsy reasons, she knew my silly ones. I asked her, “so, is part of you thinking, why doesn’t he just kiss me?” and she said, “a part of me does, yeah.” And so I summoned up every ounce of bravery in me and kissed her. It was wonderful.
After that, we became friends who kissed. Not a great thing to be, but I really really really liked kissing Tracie, she seemed to not hate it as much either, and it worked for us. Then, a wrench was thrown in the works. We’ll call him Bignose.
I had gone to Texas for several weeks (2 or 3, I think) for the Christmas and New year’s holiday to be with my family. Tracie’s friend Heidi introduced my best friend who I kissed to a group of boys, one of them showed interest in her and tried seducing her. She wasn’t my girlfriend, so she let poor Bignose think he had a shot. (Though she’ll deny it, I think she was just trying to get me to commit). Well, I heard about Bignose, I was naturally livid. But, during one of our many phone conversations, we decided we’d define the relationship, (the legendary DTR) once I got back. In the meantime, she wouldn’t go with Bignose, and I wouldn’t murder him with an icepick when I got home.
(in Tracie’s defense, she never kissed him, and I wasn’t technically her boyfriend.)
I was excited to go home and see her. I had a new shirt, a new haircut, and, I thought, a new girlfriend. I got back to Utah on January 4th, my heart racing, and went into iarchives to see my friend who I kissed who was soon to be my girlfriend. She finished work, I drove her home, and we sat in my car, talked, etc. I remember thinking she was the most beautiful person I had ever seen in my life there in the moonlight. Finally she said, “Well, I guess we can give it a try.”