May 25, 2008

Part IV. Giving it a Try: Ups and Downs

A bit of a rewind. Nearly all the girls I had dated prior to princess Tracie had been (at least) a step back for me. I chose girls who were “safe” and “not as attractive or interesting as someone I thought I deserved” because I didn’t want to aim high & get shot down. (disclaimer: except for my first girlfriend, who we’ll call Suzette, because she’s my sister-in-law’s sister. She is a wonderful person, but we were just NOT compatible. But her husband is a lucky guy and I feel blessed to have had her in my life when I did.) But the rest were all less than ideal. Some were losers, some were a “what the he-- was I thinking?”
Then I met Tracie. I didn’t know someone as beautiful as her existed, let alone someone as smart, fun, quirky, creative, original, who got along with me as good as she did. She was a gorgeous package of everything-Austin-needs-and-wants all rolled into one. Well, when I finally convinced her to be my girlfriend, I did everything in my power to show her I loved her and that I was a good boyfriend. In retrospect, I may have gone a bit overboard early on in my affections. The “World’s Best Girlfriend” trophy aside, I came on a little strong.
But I was crazy about her, and I knew she was it. If I didn’t marry her, no matter who else I married, I’d be settling for less.
I bought her flowers every month on the 4th for our anniversary. Valentine’s was more work than I’ve ever done, or more money than I’d ever spent on someone. (I’ve already blogged about that, remember?)
We went to Las Vegas together with friends, had a lot of fun and didn’t gamble a cent. All the money they took from us they took legally.
Tracie’s birthday was both an extravaganza AND a hoopla. Not that once we started dating, everything went smoothly. Her family didn’t approve of me, (probably because I stayed over a trifle late occasionally) she still had feelings for Vapid, (had invited him to the birthday party. Not my happiest memory), I had accidentally read her online journal. (Ok, I didn’t want to discuss this unpleasantness, but I feel I have to. Because right now you’re all at home going “sure, Austin. Accidentally read it. Uh-huh. We understand.” Then your eyes all roll. So here’s the scoop. Tracie had shown me Her Live Journal, something similar to blogging, and you can control who gets to read your entries. Well, one night I decided to comment on it, say something like “I like your journal, you wonderful girlfriend, you.” Because, as I said, you can control which entries are visible to the general public. I don’t want to go too much into it, but the journal entry wasn’t very favorable to Austin, it was very ex-boyfriend Vapid-centric. (This was before her birthday party, pretty early on in our courtship.) It was probably one of the times in my life I really wanted to crawl under something and die. I was hurt and felt betrayed that she’d write this stuff about me to strangers, she was hurt and felt betrayed that I had read her journal. But, as I said, she posted it for the world to see, and I’m in that demographic, and I saw it. Fortunately, we stayed together even after the Night of the Living Journal.)
Man. I didn’t enjoy reliving that. Let’s move on to a happy memory. As I’ve said, we had a lot of fun together, but probably none so much as when we went on our trip to California, which, as you may have guessed, deserves another blog entry. See you tomorrow!

1 comment:

Heather said...

goodness, I have a lot of catching up to do!

See me at the later comments on newer entries.

I am not sure how live journal online can be "private" if is open to anyone on the www.